the rainbow of you
is in my mouth
right now

the home as bulwark
against not only the things
we knew we would never have
but also the thing
we never wanted to become
solitary dwellers on the sea of
how the hell did i get here
swollen with self-loathing
and disappointment

"And God said “Love Your Enemy,” and I obeyed him and loved myself."

— خليل جبران ‎ Khalil Gibran (via lockhorne)

(Source: lacedwithrighteousgame, via lockhorne)

the snap of a weight-taut rope
ends my misery

i am the still pendulum
of my own gruesome clock

dearest willy,

you are a smart boy
and a good boy
and a great son

remember these things
even if i get mad at you
or you get mad at me

i love you forever
your adoring father

please let me
die in my sleep

                 you know that’s
                 not possible

yeah, but it’s nice
to have a song
to fall asleep to

i am sorry for who i am
i would gladly obliterate myself
but i don’t know how

"where do you go
when you feel
your brain is on fire"

— nina simone

i have paid myself
an exorbitant wage of shame

in hotel mirrors i am uglier
less comprehensible

where’s the line for people
who just want to get by?

you are a piece of shit
i will kill you

             is that all you’ve got
             a few derogatory words
             and regurgitated rhetoric?

not in the least
i’ve got your voice
and i’m inside your head
i can cover you with shame and pain
any time i please

my brain is wrapped in steel wool