the desolations are out in the open today
and some of them have been given pointing names

i have come
to step quickly into the darkness
and speak my name aloud:
weakness

i speak the unspoken syllables
of my unbreakable other names
(dumbfucker, pussy, asshole)
and the eyes of friends
begin the journey
towards indifference
in distance

in distance
they condone my broken heart
which cannot bear to be alone


i agree to condone the brutality
which blooms within

i am now
what i prayed
(quietly so angrily)
i would never become

i eat the blame alone
and inure almost wholly
due to my fear of hell,
the forgiving repose of the condemned

(feeling obliged to live is a tough angle)

i have countless times sold
my will to the shame of the dispossessed
and the eyes of friends